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Those were followed by a masquerade-themed mixer, where SBs could practice their newly honed skills on a club full of SDs (and oh was The Sugar Baby Lifestyle gets a lot of flack for being anti-feminist, patriarchal, or simply glorified sex work.But I — and a lot of sex-positive feminists like me — believe that A) there's nothing wrong with sex work, B) there are totally ways to live a feminist SB lifestyle, and C) there are ways to live an SB lifestyle that have nothing to do with being a sex worker whatsoever.Devoted sex journalist that I am, when I heard that Seeking was hosting its first-ever Sugar Baby Summit, offering an afternoon of seminars for both beginners and masters of the Sugar lifestyle, I eagerly accepted the invitation to attend.Who would pass up on a day of that followed by an evening of people-watching at an awkward dating mixer? Sugaring, in case you're new to the concept, is a type of relationship/lifestyle in which a Sugar Baby (SB) "provides companionship in exchange for being pampered," while a Sugar Daddy (SD) "pampers Sugar Babies in return for companionship." "Pampering" is obviously a broad term, and can include explicitly negotiated financial compensation — like an allowance, tuition payments, or an investment into a Sugar Baby's business venture — or simply gifts, trips, and other treats.Take, for example, the demographics of the Sugar Baby Summit: it was overwhelmingly populated by female SBs seeking male Sugar Daddies.
But there's nothing R-rated about frank communication and consent. Unfortunately, in its shortsighted efforts to become a "PG" "dating/relationship" website (as opposed to a place to find sex), Seeking has some pretty murky, sex-negative policies.Seeking seems like a natural place to go if you're a Fi-Dom (financial Dom/me, controlling the finances of your submissive) or a pay pig (the submissive moneybags who gets off on relinquishing power over their financial assets to a Fi-Dom).And several site reps admitted that these folks exist on the site.One rep even ventured, "I would say most of the girls on the site don't really understand [the BDSM lifestyle] and don't know what that is," which is a borderline offensive underestimation of her clients.The same rep added with regard to BDSM, "If you have wording about being weird on there or something that would make someone uncomfortable, we actually have a team of people who will deny you.