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"Allowing each other to laugh and feel weird about it at first" will help dissolve the tension, says Hodder. "Remember that emotional connection is an important part of a strong sex life," says Hodder.

Men may turn on like a light, but for women, arousal doesn’t happen so fast, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph D.

If you're shy about being naked on video, Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr.

Jess O'Reilly suggests filming yourself in the dark or just recording your voice.

"It feels a little naughtier, or like you can role play with partners as though they’re flings or side pieces."Mutual masturbation has lots of benefits, like teaching each other what you like and enjoying sexual intimacy.

It might even give you inspiration for when you're back together.Feeling safe and secure in the relationship is key for a woman to really let loose during sex, Kerner says. “Hugging for 30 seconds stimulates oxytocin, the hormone in women that creates [a] sense of connection and trust.” “Just as many women are faking orgasm today as 20 or 30 years ago,” Kerner says.So, if she’s not enjoying herself, you might not know it. Don't think that "if it worked the first three times, it will work the next three times," says sex therapist Sari Cooper, LCSW.“Men should feel comfortable, not threatened, with sex toys,” he says.To help her hit the high note when you do have sex, take time to get her going before you make your entrance.

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